5 Ways Parents Kill Kindness

Is kindness dead?

I wonder. 

Nastiness in the political arena.

Rage on the road.

Trolls on social media.

I think it's time to resurrect kindness. The place where I can make a big impact is in my home.

Here are 5 Kindness Killers and ways to bring kindness home.

1. Pessimism: "You can't do that."

A total joy squelcher. Instead let your kiddo dream a little. Perhaps allow him the opportunity to take a reasonable risk (not a risky risk). 

2. Comparison:"If you acted like your brother..." We have heard it said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." I would add it is the catalyst for envy between siblings resulting in rivalry. Don't compare, rejoice in the differences and strengths of each child.

3.  Hyperbole: "You never pick up your toys. You always forget."  Instead know your child's weaknesses and work with him. After all we are parents. Parents train kids. So train. "Before we go to the park, pick up your toys."

4. Demanding: "You made your bed but you forgot to clean the bathroom." Start with gratefulness, "I see you made your bed. Let's look at the list of jobs left to do...Oh I see straightening the bathroom is on here. Let's take a minute to do that."

5. Name caller: "You are an idiot." "You are lazy."  Name the good things and train the areas that need improvement. "You are really good at Spelling. Math is a bit harder for you. It's hard for me too. How can I help?" 

We can tweak our words and messages so they are received well and training results. We can help our kids learn without damaging our relationship with them.  

Surrender the mean and instead bring kindness home. 

Lay down the weapons of pessimism, comparison, exaggeration, demands, and name-calling. We all want family relationships that last a lifetime so let's kill 'em with kindness rather than kill kindness. 

It's time to resurrect kindness and bring it home.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12

Lori Wildenberg
co-founder of 1Corinthians13Parenting.com, co-author of 3 parenting books, mom of four (plus one daughter-in-love) Contact Lori for your next event. She is also available for parent consulting and parent training courses.
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