Monday, January 23, 2017

5 Things Teens Need to Know About Their Parents

Were you a  "pretty good" kid?

Were you honest with your parents?

Were you always honest, never lied?

Did your peer group's opinions, beliefs, and actions influence you?

These are questions I ask parents of teens during a workshop or coaching session. I find it helps that ol' parental frustration to put ones-self back into those smelly teen tennies.

Perspective, understanding, and empathy are what I hope to stir in moms and dads.

We made mistakes growing up.
We learned.
We grew.

We hope to save our kids from making the mistakes we made.

But those little stinkers just may make the same mistakes.
Some of us humans have to do life the hard way and experience things for ourselves. us, they will make mistakes. us, they will learn.
And like us, they will grow.

And it is OK.

During the times of trial, testing, and stretching our teens need to know these 5 things about mom and dad:

  • We made mistakes too. 
  • Our love for them  isn't dependent upon on their behavior.
  • We are here for them. We will love, encourage, coach, and advise.
  • We will not fix their problem, yet will will work with them toward a solution.
  • We will not rescue them from their struggle but we will stand with them in the mess. 

Love those big kids who still have little kid impulses and logic. Empower them to think. Don't enable the behavior by rescuing or fixing. We desire to raise responsible adults. We hope to have a family made up of individuals who participate in family life, pitch in, and are purposeful in the way they love God and other. 

There are lots of great things about the teen years. Teens are developing their sense of humor and can be very playful and funny. 

Enjoy the laughter.
Stay calm in the storms. 

Our young people are just trying to sort it all out.

Try and recall the journey. Remember the mile we have walked in their shoes. (But we did it without the influence and impact of social media.) 

Next week we will look at the Teen Developmental stage. 

I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw.

Proverbs 24:32

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If this post was helpful and you want more information on raising big kids head over to Amazon and pick up your copy of   Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love  .

Lori Wildenberg
co-founder of, co-author of 3 parenting books, mom of four (plus one daughter-in-love) Contact Lori for your next event. She is also available for parent consulting and parent training courses.


  1. Yes! I was just talking to my teen this week about some of these things. We were talking about how some other kids we had just been visiting with thought their parents would react if they made a certain mistake, and he wanted to know what we would do. In other words, would we totally freak out and disown him (or his siblings)? It was great to tell him that while we would be disappointed we would always be there for them. Your points outlined that conversation really well.

    1. Heather, so sorry it has taken me awhile to respond to your comment. I was having some technical issues. I'm so glad you found this helpful and affirming. Blessings!