Never in My Wildest Dreams...

He’s a good kid.

She was raised to know the Lord.

How could he make this choice? How could she do this thing?

Confusing isn’t it? 

We think we have protected our kids from evil, wrong thinking, and immoral behavior because we raised them with faith and family values. 

A guaranteed good and godly outcome is to be expected. "I did my part, now God you do yours."  

Why do good kids engage in, “sex, drugs, and rock and roll”?

Perhaps we ask the wrong question.

Do I think my tween, teen, or young adult should have a better outcome than the first two people who walked and talked with our Heavenly Father in the Garden of Eden?

Life is filled with the unexpected. 

The only expected things are taxes, death, and… sin.

Sin is a sure thing.

It is hard and hurtful when we  train up our children in the way they should go…and they go the other way.  Many faithful Christ-follower parents have shared their heartache with me. And I’ve had my portion of painful parenting times. 

We share the feeling of deep loss and  painful surprise. “Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought my child would…” is a line we  speak.

The prodigal-type list is long but these four groups encapsulate most of the issues: Good Kids raised by good parents who are drug addicts, unbelievers (even atheists), sexually active (even promiscuous), and alcohol abusers (or are even alcoholics).

What do we do if we have a prodigal under our roof? 

We follow the example from the Garden.

 Like God:

• We maintain a relationship with our kids.
• We continue to warn our kids regarding what to avoid.
• We talk with our kids by asking questions when they partake in the forbidden fruit. 
• We ask questions rather than accuse.
• We protect our kids after the issue has been disclosed. ( God removed Adam and Eve from the Garden for their own protection. ) 
• We still sacrifice for them.  (The first sacrifice clothed Adam and Eve.)
• We continue to be a part of their lives. (God knew their kids, Cain and Abel)
• We are just and merciful. 
• We show grace and speak truth.
• We do all this with humility because sin is a sure thing. 

Keep talking. Keep protecting.  Keep praying.

In the midst of the unexpected, keep loving with the knowledge that sin is in our blood. But…forgiveness is in His! 

If you liked this post you may want to read one of my most popular posts:  Never Give Up.

Love bears all things.

1 Corinthians 13:7a
ESV 

with faith, hope, and love,

Lori

Please join me, Becky Danielson, and members of the 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team for the HeartCORe Parenting Conference on May 9th in Denver Colorado. 

Click here for details. 

You may be asking, why should I come to the HeartCORe Parenting Conference? 

Because we address the things you care about! The CORe concerns of a Christian parent are: faith, relationships, and education. Whether you are single or married parent  join us for fellowship, fun, and family focused sessions on May 9th from 8:30-2:30 at Calvary Church in Englewood. Come to the HeartCORe Parenting Conference and make faith come alive in your home with Kirk Weaver, gain skills to increase your student’s learning with Becky Danielson, discover how to have a resilient marriage with Pete Larson, learn how to build a strong single parent family with Misty Honnold, find out how to cure your toddler to young person’s listentingitis with Lori Wildenberg. The cost is $60 for couple, $50 for individual. Register before  April 26th and get $15.00 off!

 Go to: http://englewood.thecalvary.org/  to register. And Child Care is FREE!

Open or Shut?

“Shut down.” 

This was an expression my nephew used to get around his family’s rule of not saying, “Shut Up.”

Recently I heard a program on Christian radio where the man being interviewed said something like, “Scripture quoting people need to go away.” He and his family had gone and are still going through a huge and heart-breaking difficulty. Their son had been arrested for drug use. The young man was raised in a faith-filled home with Christian values and a strong family support system. In spite of that, he had become addicted to drugs and is now serving time.

Painful for all. 

“Bible versing” individuals are well-intended. (Have you noticed, often these words are delivered with a Cheshire cat-like smile and the obligatory hug?) But… the person on the receiving end feels as if he has just been smacked with a pious and judgmental sermon. Another hit to a person or family already bruised and beat-up. 

This man wanted those folks to –Shut down. 

I can relate.

There have been crises where I have yearned to hear God’s Word and cling to Biblical promises. Riding in the ambulance down the mountain- praying we get to the hospital in time. Sitting in the Trauma 10 Emergency Surgery Waiting Room-praying my child will come through the operation, holding my girl’s hand while she lay in her hospital bed recuperating, or sitting with my dad while he was breathing his last earthly breath. Those are the moments I have craved words from the Big, Black Book. In those spaces I desire to recall God's word and craft my prayers from Scripture to remind me of God’s goodness and His healing power.

Then the inspired Word brings hope in the midst of tragedy or sadness.

But… times when one of my kids is going through a trial-due to his or her own choosing and the rest of the family is in a place of suffering due to those choices, encouragement, at least for me (and for the dad on the radio), is not found in someone giving me “Godly advice” or casually spitting out a memorized passage.

Please… well- meaning Christian folks….shut down.

This may not sound very Christian but please don’t toss a piece of sermonized scripture at me.(Not to be arrogant, but I do know God's Word-like that dad- and His promises. And when I've been in those hard places, believe me,I have been seeking his guidance. And... frankly I'm hanging on for dear life.) Instead offer compassion and encouragement in the form of listening, asking how to pray, and offering to pray. Support my family and me by praying for protection for our marriage, faith, and family. 

When I am hurting, I need love not a lecture.

Join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.

Romans 15: 30b

and 

Let us encourage one another.

Hebrews 10:25b

What encourages you when going through a time of suffering?