Martin Luther King, Jr. was an excellent orator. His "I Have a Dream" speech is one of the most remembered and quoted speeches.
Words move people. Words are powerful.
Remember how
exciting it was when your toddler learned how to talk? Do you recall wishing
for some quiet time when your preschooler spoke in a continuous stream of
words? Most parents of elementary school students don’t miss the preschool monologue
but would value some dialogue. When we
ask, “How was your day?” the typical child’s answer summarizes the entire day
in one word: Fine, Okay, Boring.
The one word response is a conversation
stopper.
Effective
communication in the home is the main bridge to building a lasting and loving
relationship with our children. So...how do
we encourage positive communication? Implementing
the following parenting tips will help accomplish this goal:
1. Ask
specific questions. “What was the best part of your day?” “What was the worst?”
“What did you do in art?” This will frame the events of the day and make responding
less overwhelming.
2. Fill
your child in on your day as well. This will train them in the art of
conversation.
3. If
we want our children to talk we must be interested in what they have to say.
Give eye contact, limit distractions, attend fully, and respond to what has
been said. Implementing these four listening behaviors will encourage self
worth in our children.
4. 35%
of what we verbally communicate to our children is through our tone. Make
certain the tone matches the message. Many times our children feel yelled at,
not because of what we have said but because of how we said it.
5. Avoid
the use of sarcasm and subtle put-downs. We live in a sarcastic culture. Sarcasm
and subtle put-downs leave a child with feelings of inadequacy. The commonly
used phrases such as: “Hel…looo” and “What part of no don’t you understand?”
need to be eliminated if we want our children to feel valued and capable. As parents, we can handle our frustration in a more constructive way. Replacing,
“Hel..loooo” with “Look at me.” Reiterating
our answer or having the child repeat back the answer given is more effective
than belittling the child with, “What part of no don’t you understand?” These
responses accomplish the same goal but they are done in a way that is
respectful to the child.
6. Specifically
reinforce desired behaviors and attitudes. “That was so great the way you
encouraged your brother. No wonder he loves you so much.” Remember to focus on
the positives to build good character in your child.
7. Normalize
your child’s experience. When he confides in you about being teased, recall a
time when you were teased as a child. Providing empathy builds the parent child
relationship and puts the difficulty in the proper perspective. Together come
up with a constructive solution to the problem. This will train your child to
handle unpleasant life circumstances.
Just a Martin Luther King, Jr. motivated and taught us to have a culture that respects all human beings, we desire to
have a home that respects all family members.
Strong societies and strong family relationships are
built through the wise use of words and actions.
Truth, respect, grace, justice, mercy, love.
Good communication is fostered
when our children feel heard, understood and appreciated.
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold set in silver.
Proverbs 25: 11
What do you do to model and foster good communication?
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