Monday, July 10, 2017

10 Questions to Evaluate Emotional Safety in Your Home (EQ part 5)

Life is full of unexpected ups and downs. Our kids must learn how to be resilient in the midst of disappointments. But they cannot be resilient unless they feel emotionally safe. 

This is the 5th blog in a series of articles that focus on raising our child's emotional quotient. 

If we desire resilient kids it is up to moms and dads to provide an emotionally safe environment for our kids to experience failure or struggle. 

To do this we start by examining ourselves:

1. Am I trustworthy with confidential information?
2. Am I sensitive to personal struggles and hopes shared?
3. Do I refrain from using personal information as a weapon later?
4. Am I able to handle the small irritations and inconveniences in life with calm and patience?
5. Am I able to remain calm when bad decisions are made or accidents occur?
6. Do I avoid comparing my child to his siblings or peers?
7. Am I able to deal directly with a problem rather than use a passive aggressive approach?
8. Can I be kind even when I disagree? 
9. Am I real with my kids, letting them know I experience struggles and make mistakes? 
10. Is my home a place where it is OK to be imperfect and a little weird sometimes? 

After some honest self examination and making the necessary adjustments, we are better able to provide an emotionally safe atmosphere for our kids.

Next week we will discuss how to increase resiliency in our  children. 

    “May those who love you be secure.
 May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels.”
 For the sake of my family and friends, I will say, “Peace be within you.”
Psalm 122: 6b-8

Here are the links to the previous articles in the series:

Here are some related posts you may enjoy: 

Quit Giving Your Kids These 7 Compliments
The Top 10 Ways Imperfection Helps Kids.
10 Ways to Raise a Smart Kid

Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator and  co-founder of , Lori's newest parenting book is available on Amazon or at your favorite bookstore.  Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home.   Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at  the MOMS Together community on Facebook. 


  1. Love this, Lori! I long for our house to be a safe place, emotionally and otherwise. I want it to be a place where joys are multiplied and sorrows divided...where it is okay to not be okay. Thank you for this wisdom...pinned and tweeted!

  2. Thanks Elizabeth. I know your home is a place of security, humor, and great love. :) Thanks for your comment.

  3. to have higher self-control and lower impulsivity when parent's used a democratic parenting style while spoiling, neglectful, authoritarian and inconsistent parenting styles were all found to lower self control and increase impulsivity. best double stroller