The Power of Love and Wise Counsel

Have you ever had a situation where someone at work, in your neighborhood, in your circle of friends, or in your family has made you mad? I'm guessing... yes.

What do you do? What do I do?

We have a big decision to make. If you are like me you have a real preference on what you may want to do but it messes with what you (and I) ought to do.

To whom to you go for guidance? 

The only way for you and me to get smart is to stop asking our sympathetic friends. 

I am totally guilt of this.

When I am questioning something, do I seek wise counsel (someone who may not tell me what I want to hear but it is what I need to hear.) or do I ask my sweet friends (the ones who will tell me what I want to hear)?

That leads me to my next thought. Do I really want to hear something that may challenge or convict me? Or do I just want to feel good and justified?

Truthfully, I like to be affirmed. I like to be agreed with. I like to be told, "You did the right thing." 

I phone a friend. A sweet one.

Part of being in the body of Christ is being able to talk with a person who can provide wise counsel and biblical advice. God places certain folks in our lives so we can learn, stretch, and be challenged. So we can become all that he wants us to be.

Newsflash: He wants me to be more  like Jesus...and less like...me. 

I need support to do that. Of course I need my friends. And I am thankful most of them are really smart...spiritually smart. And I also need to be apart of a community, a church where I can be accountable; a place where I can grow in Christ. And maybe help someone else along the way.

So I'm going to start using my head and seek wise (unbiased) counsel when I am wrestling with something. I'm going to give my friends "permission" to love me by being truthful. (Okay..with the understanding they be gentle in the process! )

To do life well we need to be wise; use our heads and put our heads together. We aren't meant to do  life alone.We need one another. And we need truth with grace.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

Whoever heeds correction gains understanding. Proverb 15:32b 

In addition to the Holy Spirit, who has God placed in your life to be your "guidance counselor"?

With faith, hope, and love,
~Lori Wildenberg

Relationship or Rivalry

No. The dog isn't dinner. Sambo the lab and Sabal the panther are cuddling! They are best buds. And the sign on the very large cage says, "If separated, will stress-out."

Over Christmas break, we took a family vacation to Florida. One of the places we visited was an Alligator Farm in the Everglades. Although I'm not exactly sure why the dog and panther were at an exhibit with snakes and gators- I'm glad they were! (Hey- are panthers native to Florida?)

Anyway...

We saw the two pals play, run, wrestle (I held my breath a couple times), and cuddle. Crazy. All six of us were mesmerized.

In a way it made me think of my four kids. Each one so different from the other. Yet if one is separated from our little family - it just doesn't feel right.

It's good to know as my teen and young adults grow into their own lives, they are still there for each other. Currently, one of  the four is going through a tough time. The other three have all rallied and are reaching out.

In the midst of the trial, I have seen blessings. Blessings in love and devotion. I'm grateful God has given them a heart for each other.

Here are a few tips to be a relationship builder verses a relationship buster:
      1. Avoid comparison. "Joey works really hard at _____. Why don't you exert more effort like him?"
      2. Do NOT play favorites. Find good things and ways to connect with each child.
      3. Build the relationships. "Caitlin thinks you are the coolest sister. She loves spending time with you."
      4. Allow time for your older kids to hang out without mom and dad.

What types of things do you do to increase relationship and decrease rivalry?

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

Romans 12:10

Created by Melanie

The Short Cut

Just on the other side of the sink-hole is a driveway. In order to follow the road closure sign- it will take the owner an additional twenty minutes to access his lake cabin by going the other way. He could choose to go forward-take the short cut- and ignore the sign, but if he does his vehicle will end up nine to ten feet below the surface of the ground. My guess is he's pretty bummed about that sink hole and the inconvenience it is causing him.

However, if he is wise he will heed the caution in order to avoid an even bigger problem.

God gives us and our kids specific guidance too. Often we are tempted to ignore his directions and do what we think may be faster, better, or more fun. I guess it is in the human DNA. That is just what Adam and Eve did. They ignored God's directive to Adam, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when  you eat of it you will surely die" (Genesis 2: 16-17).

Rather than avoid the tree, with the  serpent's clever tempting, Eve went right for the fruit while encouraging Adam to do the same.

Isn't that how sin often works?

We've been warned, we know it's wrong, listen to that little voice that says it's no big deal, then justify our behavior by dragging along another?

There is a saying that has been floating around that goes something like this: "I'm not the friend who will bail you out when you are in jail. I'm the one who will be sitting next to you."

Funny?

Not so much. Tragic really.

Encourage your child to find friends who will bring out the best in him and those he brings out the best in as well. These are life-time and live-giving friends. True friends.

Also train your children to recognize the enemy's voice. It often sounds like this:

You're only young once.

This isn't hurting anyone.

It's none of your parents' business.

It's not that big of a deal.

You're (insert age) you should be able to do it anyway.

Everyone else does it.

If no one finds out, no one will care.

Train your kids to listen to God's voice. God tells us to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy and to put those things into practice (Philippians 4:8).

What lies has the enemy whispered to your child? To you? How do you recognize your Father's voice?

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put into practice.

And the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:9