3 Ways to be an Effective Grandparent (guest post)

Dear Friends,

I have the great pleasure of introducing Dr. Mary Manz Simon. She is a grandma to five grands. Recently she released a new book titled Faith Footprints with My Grandchild. If you would like to be eligible to get a free book from Dr. Mary please leave a comment in the comment section with your ideas on how to be an effective grandparent. 

Blessings to all!

Lori

            "Am I a good grandmother?"

If you ask that question after you've handed your grandchild an ice cream cone, the answer will be a resounding, "Yes."  But you might get a totally different response if you’ve just told your grand, “No texting during dinner!”

"Am I a good grandparent?" is also a question we might ask ourselves.

            Here are three elements shared by grandparents who make a difference:

Effective grandparents connect.

            Our grandchildren are digital natives in a world defined by clicks, beeps and tweets. Using the tech gadgets so familiar to our grands can be engaging for us, too. Playing an online game is an easy way to shrink the miles with an older child. Our five year old grandson, who was born in a dirt floor hut in rural Ethiopia, likes to Skype.

But expand connections beyond tech. Every child likes to receive mail – the type delivered by the US Postal Service. Send postcards, not only when you travel, but of places you’ve visited with your grandchildren. If you go to the zoo this summer, buy postcards of their favorite animal to mail next winter. It’s a great way to visually connect without a screen.

Keep track of your grand’s schedule.  My daughter forwards the online weekly school bulletins.  A couple weeks ago, I knew that Nate and Josh would need extra prayer cover as they went through the rigors of academic testing. Knowing what grandchildren are doing builds in relevant reasons to connect. Your grand will remember if you phone to pray with him on the morning of a piano recital or big game.

Effective grandparents give from the heart

Grandchildren need our time and attention, our lap and our love.  For a child, time equals love.

My sister, Dorothy provides before and after school care for twin granddaughters.  Does that mean she is a better grandma than I?  Not necessarily.  She lives ten minutes away from her grands; mine live halfway across the country.  Geography, age (ours and our grands!) and finances might impact our style, but do not necessarily limit our effectiveness.

Effective grandparents prioritize.

            Occasionally, we are so busy doing things with our grands, we don't spend time thinking about what we’re doing.

            Although many grandparents gift their family with a genealogical tree, fewer write an ethical will or share a “Christian life review.”  Years before her death, my mother-in-law prepared a preamble that was shared read for the family before her legal will. The words about her faith in Jesus Christ resonated across the generations after her funeral. Some grandparents prepare a spiritual will. Christian life mapping can reveal to future generations how God fulfilled His promise to “bless you with a future filled with hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11, CEV)  Whether or not you work through such tasks, merely thinking and praying how God is using us gives a clear direction to the time with spend with grandchildren.

Whenever our grands observe us dealing with the plumber or waiting at the store, they observe our Christian lifestyle. We leave values long before we leave valuables. 

What faith footprints will you leave today?©Dr. Mary Manz Simon

Dr. Mary Manz Simon has been a thought leader in the Christian marketplace for nearly 30 years.  She holds bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees in education.  An award-winning author, her books have sold more than three million copies and are in ten languages.  She and her husband, Hank, a Lutheran pastor, have been married for more than 40 years. They have three adult children and five grandsons. Website: www.Marymanzsimon.com

8 Great Mom Traits

Someday...when you are a grandma, you'll be just like Nana." My oldest child has great confidence in me. Me...not so much.

My mom has raised the bar pretty high. When my two youngest were born she took a month out of her life, each time, to help Tom and me out with the older kids.  She left her life(and my dad) in Minnesota to help care for all of us in California.

She gives generously of her time. 

Every summer she opens up her lake cabin to the family, we all come (my family, my brother’s and my sister’s) with kids plus dogs. There have been times when the cabin held eight adults, 9 kids, and 6 dogs! Over the years the cabin carpet has withstood mud, sand, and other “accidents” (you can guess what type) from kids and dogs alike.

She doesn’t worry about the stuff. Instead she focuses on the gathering.

On just about any occasion, she sends “a little something” to the kids. Just to let them know she misses them and is thinking about them.

She is thoughtful.

She’s an awesome cook and feeds us well whenever we are together. Always saying, “Can I get you anymore?”

She has a servant’s heart. 

Me, not so much. (Although I am a very gracious recipient!)

Did I mention she is really fun, too?

She’s up  for a hike, a card game of hearts, or even a wild tube ride around the lake.

When my husband was out of town and my heart was hurting because someone had been unkind to my young teenager, I called my mom. I should include my call to her was at 11:00 PM my time and midnight her time. Not only did she talk with me, she made sure I knew she was so glad I felt comfortable calling her late at night. (Ha! )

She is my friend.

And…when my oldest daughter told my mom she was gay. My mom said, “Honey, I’m your Grandma, my job is only to love you.” (This can make me cry when I think of it.)

She knows her Nana-role and she is loving plus wise.

She models living out her faith by caring for her friends and volunteering at church. She continues to grow spiritually by investing time in her small group and Bible study. My mom introduced me to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).

She has passed along her love for the body of Christ and her faith.

I love my mom. I want to be like her. (Fat chance) I try to keep things in perspective like she has taught me. But…like the tennis shoes in the picture, I can get hung up on the “junk”.

What good stuff has your mom shown you?  Let her know how much you love her, appreciate her,  and cherish her sacrifices over the years. Happy belated Thanksgiving and an early Merry Christmas!

Her children arise and call her blessed. Proverbs 31:28

With faith, hope, and love,

Lori

Find Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love and
Raising Little Kids with Big Love 
over at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.com

A Papa's Legacy

My father-in-law died before he could be a grandpa. He would of been a really good granddad. He loved kids, had a terrific belly laugh,and his eyes sparkled when he was teasing.

Shortly after our fourth and youngest child was born, my Mother-in-Love married Bob.I guess he would be  my step-father-in-law. That was nineteen years ago.

The year they were married he asked me for a picture of me in my wedding gown. He and Marianne were setting up a guest room that had wedding portraits of all the girls as brides. I was so touched. Here I was the "step-in-law" and he treated me with the same sensitivity and tenderness as his own daughters, daughter-in-laws, and step-daughters.

He loved his grandkids, ALL of them. Step, adopted, birth...none of it mattered....they were all his and he was so proud of his entire family.

He and Marianne successfully brought two families together. Not easy when most of the "kids" are married, parents, and live all over the United States-oh and in Europe, too! Marianne with her four and Bob with his five. Add in all the younger generation and in-laws and you have a grand total of thirty-three (I think).

Bob died about a year and half-ago. He left us stronger as a family and rich with memories. And maybe each one of us learned to be a stronger individual too.

Here's what I learned from this man:

Be intentional. To make family time happen, you have to plan it, invest in it, and make the effort.

Cherish and value time together, make it happen.

Be loyal to your family. Don't play favorites.

Don't jump to conclusions. Give others the benefit of the doubt.

Pitch in.

Take time to listen to and be interested in each person. He was a master at this.

Laugh. He and Marianne laughed when our 110 pound Airedale jumped on their bed in the morning when they were visiting us.

Tell stories. We were mesmerized by his tales.

Cook and enjoy food. He taught me how to make soup.

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Be humble. He had LOTS of accomplishments but he would hate it if I bragged about them. He didn't care about earthly accolades.

Don't fear lively conversations and be respectful during them. With thirty-three people you can imagine all the different points of view regarding politics and religion.

Read. Stay informed. Pay attention to world, national, and local events.

Bob showed us what unconditional love looks like, demonstrated the importance of family, and lived with integrity. He is missed but his legacy lives on.

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, 

the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver 

and yields better returns than gold. 

Proverbs 3: 13

What important things have you learned from the men in your life? How have they impacted you as a parent or person?

Happy Father's Day! 

Blessings to your family.

Faith, hope, and love, 

Lori

If you like this post you may also enjoy checking out www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com .
Click here to contact Lori for your next speaking engagement or parenting class.