12 Characteristics of Being a Good Follower

Last week I wrote a blog about 7 Things to Avoid if You Want to Raise a Leader. So what is a key quality to develop in our kids so they can become an effective leader?

We train them to be good followers.

Just like Jesus did.

Jesus had his gang of twelve. Eleven of the twelve learned what it meant to be a good follower.

Those original eleven were able to go forth and be leaders who trained leaders.

So...what do we learn from Jesus and his followers?

1. They were all in. 

So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. Luke 5:11

2. They followed directions. 

Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything.
But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” Luke 5:5

3. They were self-starters and performed their task without being micro-managed. 

When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. Luke 9:1-2

4. They had a student's attitude. They wanted to learn from their teacher. 
One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”

 He said to them, “When you pray, say:

“‘Father,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread.

Forgive us our sins,

    for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

And lead us not into temptation.” Luke 11:1-4

5. They respected Jesus' authority.

 People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. 

When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said,
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:15-17

6. They were reliable. 

“Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you,

 ‘Why are you untying it?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it.’”

 Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?”

 They replied, “The Lord needs it.” Luke 19:30-34

7. They were willing to ask questions.

 Peter asked, “Lord, are you telling this parable to us, or to everyone?” Luke 12:41

8. They asked for what they needed. 

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” Luke 17:5 

9. They accepted criticism, instruction,  and training. 

They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Mark 9:33-35

10. They took risks.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost, ”they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.  Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:25-33

11. They learned from their mistakes. 

Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed.  The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Luke 22:60-62

12. They mentored others.

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20

To be an effective leader, being an effective--not perfect-- follower comes first.

If you liked this blog you may want to click here and read 7 Things to Avoid if You Want to Raise a Leader.


With faith, hope, and love,
Lori Wildenberg

Co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting, co-author of three parenting books.  Contact Lori for your next speaking engagement.

If you found this post helpful check out Lori's co-authored books:

Raising Little Kids with Big Love ( toddler to 9) and Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love 
( tween to young adult).

7 Things to Avoid if You Want to Raise a Leader

If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too?

Tom and I went to college in Duluth, Minnesota. Near the campus there was a local swimming hole. Jumping off the cliff was the quickest way to access the refreshing spring fed water.

So yes....

(NOTE: This is NOT a photo of the swimming hole--this is a picture of the Royal Gorge in Colorado- a bridge one would obviously not jump off of.)

A risk. A little danger.

But not a risky risk.

A reasonable risk is a good thing. 

We feel energized when we meet a challenge and conquer a fear.

This past summer Tom, Samantha, Kendra, and I went zip-lining across the Royal Gorge near Canon City, Colorado.

A risk.

But not a risky risk. Not recklessness.

My attitude of, "I don't want my girls to think I'm a wimp" moved me to push my fear-frozen, 1,000 pound feet forward toward the front of the line.

Fear almost prevented me from the thrill. Fear almost robbed me of a memory with my family.

Parents, okay mostly moms, are risk adverse. Understandably so. We don't want our kids to get hurt.

But...if we want to raise a leader, our kiddos need to experience taking a chance.

Of course I'm not talking about being reckless, careless, or immoral. I'm talking about a little adventure, some uncertainty, the risk of failure. A  "Let's give it a shot" mentality or "It's okay if I don't do it perfectly" mindset while staying true to your faith and maintaining your integrity.

Here are  7 things we must avoid if we want to raise a benevolent leader.

1. Avoid rescuing. Allow for failure and the learning which accompanies it.
2. Avoid being uber-realistic. Let your kids dream and pursue a passion.
3. Avoid rewarding just to "be fair". Rewards are earned. Rewards do not necessarily need to be material. Rewards can be internal-- leading to intrinsic motivation.
4. Avoid removing obstacles for your children. Let them jump the hurdle, deal with difficulty, and take responsibility for an undesirable outcome.
5. Avoid focusing solely on results. Performance plus perseverance matters. Character is often built in times of failure. Encourage your kids to appropriately share credit when there have been others involved in success.
6. Avoid raving when the results aren't great. Help your kiddos have an accurate assessment of  their strengths and weaknesses. Give feedback that's meaningful, clear, specific, concise, and present it with kindness. Train them how to advocate for themselves when they need assistance or support.
7. Avoid excessive screen time. Our kids need to excel in the soft skills of building relationships, interpersonal communication, conflict resolution.Teaching them to be kind will increase respectful behavior and attitude.

Building our kids' character by allowing some risks will increase their confidence and competence.  When they feel secure and loved they will be more satisfied and successful in life.

And on a final note, as I was buckled into the Zip-Rider and sailing over the Arkansas River at 1,200 feet, I was praying without ceasing.

When we allow ourselves (or our kids) to take a risk and conquer fear we discover who we are,  what we believe, and by doing so increase our dependence on our Heavenly Father.

The goal is to be who God created us to be. And part of achieving that aim includes conquering our fear and stepping out of the boat (or zip-lining over the Royal Gorge).

Faith. Faith isn't fear-less. Faith is fear conquered.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.
“It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out,
“Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:25-33

With faith, hope, and love,
Lori Wildenberg

Co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting, co-author of three parenting books.  Contact Lori for your next speaking engagement.

If you found this post helpful check out Lori's co-authored books:

Raising Little Kids with Big Love ( toddler to 9) and Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love 
( tween to young adult).