Parents are a
child’s first love.
Daddy,
a daughter’s perfect prince. Mommy, the woman every little boy wants to marry.
Naturally that love changes. It morphs over time and typically transfers to
another.
Parents set the
stage for how their children view marriage and family life.
As
our kids grow, we want them to develop healthy and lasting relationships. Most
of us hope to be in-laws and grandparents someday. We pray for our kids’ future
mates.
If
I were to be asked if I wanted to positively impact my child’s future
relationships, my answer would be YES! I’m guessing yours would be too. That’s
easy. But how am I really doing on a
day-to-day basis? What subtle
messages am I delivering to my children about family life and marriage?
I’ll be the first
to admit, my nonverbal or verbal communication can be negative, even nasty at
times.
When
my kids were younger, there were days I would compete with my husband for Who
had the Worst Day. (Truth
check: He really didn’t enter the contest, this was a solo game.)
Why would I do this? Did I feel a bad day
meant my mom job had value? Would a
terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day be the reason for extra me attention? Did I want to make my husband feel guilty for
working outside the home?
If
I’m honest, some days, probably yes on all counts.
But…Do
I want my kids to think being a mom and a wife is drudgery, hard work? (Okay
there are those times, but mostly those two jobs are the BEST jobs in the
world.)
As
parents, if we want to make a lasting and positive impact on a child’s future
relationships then we must be deliberate in romancing our spouse’s heart and a
by-product will be a soften child’s heart; a heart that is open to offering and
receiving love. A heart that is tender to God’s beckoning.
Here are a few
subtle messages that pack a punch:
Be selfless. Focus on your
husband or wife rather than yourself.
Be a servant. Do nice little
things for your special person.
Be supportive. Encourage your
mate.
Be sensitive. If it isn’t true or
kind-don’t say it.
Be sincere. If you haven’t
treated your loved one well, own it. Then change.
Be sold out for your spouse.
Think of your partner as the All-Time best ever!
How
a man treats his wife day after day, a son will copy. And… how a wife treats
her husband, a daughter will emulate.
Our
children are watching.
With faith, hope, and love,
Lori
Wildenberg
Lori Wildenberg & Becky Danielson are licensed parent and family educators and co-founders of 1
Corinthians 13 Parenting. Their book, Raising Little Kids with Big Love has
just been released. If this post was a blessing to you, you
can find more great faith-based and easily applicable tips and information in
their books which can be found on Amazon or
B & N
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