Interview with Julie and Greg Gorman

Friends, Today I have a treat for you. I am interviewing my friends and authors, Greg 

and Julie Gorman. If you want a great marriage you will want to read their new book,

 Two are Better than One. 

Blessings,

Lori 

1.      Greg and Julie, tell us a bit about yourselves. What inspired you to write this book?

First, thank you for sharing this message and allowing us to be part of your community. For nearly two decades we’ve helped thousands of couples develop healthier marriages. And, honestly, were perplexed as to why some couples thrived while others barely survived in their relationship. After years of observation, what we knew subconsciously but struggled to articulate, presented itself. Since our discovery, we tested our newly found truth and analyzed decades of experience and observation. The more we reflected on our findings, the more God convinced us of His irrefutable insight—an insight that when fully embraced, by both husband and wife, will heal, restore, and deepen intimacy in every marriage. Yes, in every marriage, no matter the condition of the relationship. So what is that truth? Couples who live Purpose-focused, NOT Problem-focused, in their relationship, thrive!

2.      What is the style of your book?

We love how Stephen Arterburn, host of the #1 nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show New Life Live describes it; “In Two Are Better than One, Greg and Julie present fun, fresh and frank truths to lead you on a journey of significant discovery that will elevate your expectations and provide direction for your most precious earthly relationship—your marriage.” Our passion is to provide pathways to sustainable growth and life transformation … so when we write… we commit to capture real truths, with real stories, to provide real hope. As a matter of fact, we’ve remained extremely zealous to only present truths we know make a difference in life and marriage. We don’t try to convince anyone of anything; we simply deliver the evidence compiled from working with hundreds of couples for over nearly two decades as well as scriptures and timeless wisdom from thought leaders to back it up. So, be ready to grow and be stretched and yet entertained. We think you’ll laugh at the twist we put on some of our favorite Bible heroes—you may never look at them the same. This book is fun!

3.      How did you master the craft of blending your voices and writing together?

When we first married we felt the need to compare and compete; today, we celebrate our unique differences. We had a BLAST writing together and spent so much time talking about what we really wanted to accomplish that by the time we completed the book, we couldn’t discern who shared what. We peppered our writing process with questions like: “how can we say this better, more concise, with more humor and, or, with more punch”. We each wrote to our strengths and then challenged one another’s thought, blended our voices, and continued the process again, and again, and again … so much so that we think we could recite the entire book by heart!

4.      One of the things I love that you share in Two Are Better Than One is that “There is no such thing as a Christian without a calling, likewise there is no such thing as a marriage without a ministry.” Do you really believe every couple has a specific marriage purpose?

Absolutely! God designed each one of us with the desire to be part of something greater than ourselves. He commissioned us to be a light in our homes, to share the good news, and to bear lasting fruit. We are all made perfectly unique. When we marry, God intends for us to combine our unique strengths, our likenesses and our differences to accomplish a greater purpose. The great thing is, when we do this, we automatically find common ground and share a common goal/purpose to work toward together. We become focused, together, on being all He created us to be!  Our calling as a couple is as unique as God is creative.

5.      If there is one piece of advice you can share with a couple who is on the verge of giving up on their marriage, what would it be?

Over 17 years ago, we nearly gave up on our relationship … but GOD healed and restored our marriage by teaching us how to live PURPOSE-focused NOT PROBLEM-focused. We are so grateful that in our surrender, He didn’t let us give up or give in. Delve into the process of this book, commit to each exercise, and invite the limitless power of God to heal your relationship. It usually takes time, but changing your habit of thought to being more Christ-like, more purposed focused, renders the marriage God intended for you.  

6.      Where can people purchase the book or learn more info? 

For an autographed copy, go to: Also, login to our site to gain special access to other FREE resources.
http://www.gormanleadership.com/two-are-better-than-one

GREG AND JULIE GORMAN, authors of Two Are Better Than One…God Has A Purpose For Your Marriage. have been teaching biblical truths for marriage for nearly two decades. They are the Founders of Gorman Leadership, a faith-based organization committed to providing life-transforming content and pathways to sustainable growth. Together, they write, produce, and host weekly broadcasts, and are certified by Dr. John C. Maxwell as executive coaches and trainers. As LifePlan Facilitators with the Patterson Center, Greg and Julie passionately empower believers to discover God’s fingerprint design for their life and assist married couples to discover the purpose God has for their marriage. Greg and Julie, along with their three children, make their home in southern Florida. 

5 Important Marriage Messages to Give Your Kids (Plus one more!)

Parents are a child’s first love.

Daddy, a daughter’s perfect prince. Mommy, the woman every little boy wants to marry.

Naturally that love changes. It morphs over time and typically transfers to another. Parents set the stage for how their children view marriage and family life.

As our kids grow, we want them to develop healthy and lasting relationships. Most of us hope to be in-laws and grandparents someday. We pray for our kids’ future mates. If I were to be asked if I wanted to positively impact my child’s future relationships, my answer would be YES! I’m guessing yours would be too. That’s easy.

But how am I really doing on a day-to-day basis?

What subtle messages am I delivering to my children about family life and marriage?

I’ll be the first to admit, my nonverbal or verbal communication can be negative, even nasty at times.

When my kids were younger, there were days I would compete with my husband for Who had the Worst Day. (Truth check: He really didn’t enter the contest, this was a solo game.)

Why would I do this? Did I feel a bad day meant my mom job had value?Would a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day be the reason for extra me attention? Did I want to make my husband feel guilty for working outside the home?

If I’m honest, some days, probably yes on all counts.

But…Do I want my kids to think being a mom and a wife is drudgery, hard work? (Okay there are those times, but mostly those two jobs are the BEST jobs in the world.)

As parents, if we want to make a lasting and positive impact on a child’s future relationships then we must be deliberate in romancing our spouse’s heart and a by-product will be a soften child’s heart; a heart that is open to offering and receiving love. A heart that is tender to God’s beckoning.

Here are six subtle messages that pack a punch:

Be selfless. Focus on your husband or wife rather than yourself.

Be a servant. Do nice little things for your special person.

Be supportive. Encourage your mate.

Be sensitive. If it isn’t true or kind-don’t say it.

Be sincere. If you haven’t treated your loved one well, own it. Then change.

Be sold out for your spouse. Think of your partner as the All-Time best ever!

How a man treats his wife day after day, a son will copy. And… how a wife treats her husband, a daughter will emulate.

Our children are watching.

With faith, hope, and love,
Lori Wildenberg 
mom of four, wife to Tom
co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parentingauthor of three parenting books
Contact Lori for your next event.
Lori will be speaking at the HeartCORe Parenting Conference in Denver May 9th. Registration now open.  Join us!

Raising Little Kids with Big Love (Wildenberg & Danielson) 
Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love(Wildenberg & Danielson) 

Share this:

BEST MOTHER'S DAY GIFT!

Grandparents, husbands, and friends,

Give a gift that is a present for the present, future and it has eternal value! 

Treat your loved one to the HeartCore Conference in Denver, May 9th from 8:30-2:30. 

Moms are passionate about being a mom. Moms love it (don't we gals) when our husbands show they are just as interested and invested in family life as we are. Friends of a single parent: Single parents need encouragement and support along the way as well. Give them a gift they will cherish! 

Grandparents: Your adult children would love conference as  a combined Mother's Day and Father's Day gift. What a treat! 

This conference will focus on all the things parents care most about:  relationships, parenting, education, and faith.

Pete Larson will be coming from Minnesota to talk about marriage. He will keep us laughing while motivating us to be a great spouse. Misty Honnold, from Kansas City, will  empower and encourage single parents to Be Strong! Becky Danielson, Minnesota,  will equip us with tools to help our elementary- high school kiddos learn. Kirk Weaver, Colorado, will show us how to bring faith to life in our home. And I will be talking about- talking... and listening. You will discover the cure for the epidemic of listeningitis found in children toddlers-young adults. 

Come and learn how to parent the 1 Corinthians 13 way so you can develop great character traits in your children and build a relationship with those you love to last a lifetime! 

Laugh and learn with us. Enjoy some fellowship and worship time, receive some great materials, get energized and inspired to be the parent God created you to be! 

The HeartCORe Conference is the best Mother's Day gift EVER! 

Details:  May 9th from 8:30-2:30 at Calvary Church in Englewood. 

Cost: $60 for couple, $50 for individual.  Go to: http://englewood.thecalvary.org/  to register. And Child Care is FREE!

Join us!

 

10 Things I've Learned from My Mother-in-Law (Plus Give-Away)

Big news in the Wildenberg household this past week. Jacob and Jaime got engaged!

I noticed comments on Facebook or group  text messages like, "Jaime you have always been a part of our family." and "Now I can call you my sister!" 

And that is just a small sample of the sentiments expressed by Jake's three sisters. Jaime has a  great relationship with each one.

Tom and I know  the "Double J" are a really good match. They are growing together both personally and  spiritually.

I want to be a supportive, loving, and encouraging mother-in-law.

Thankfully I have an excellent role model in Marianne.

Without either of us realizing it, Marianne has been training me for this role since Tom and I got married.

Here is what my mother-in-love has taught me:

1. Leave space for the new couple to grow.
2. Keep priorities straight: The couple first (the marriage) then the extended family.
3. The relationship is adult to adult. (Not adult to adult-child).
4. Foster a relationship that is independent of the one with the son.
5. When asked, offer suggestions gently. 
6. Pitch in when needed.
7. Take time for "girl-talk" and sharing hearts.
8. Love and delight in the grandkids (when the time comes).
9. Be available while respecting  privacy. 
10. Have fun together.

I love being with and talking to Marianne. She makes it easy for me to share my heart with her. We laugh together... a lot. 

She has mentored me well for this new role.

Thank you Marianne, my mother- in- love and my friend. 

Her children arise and call her blessed. 

Proverbs 31: 28a 

What have you learned from your mother-in-law?

by,
Lori Wildenberg

This is the final week of the  Sharing the Love Campaign over at 1Corinthians13Parenting.com Leave a comment to be eligible for a free 1 hour Parent Coaching Session.

5 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse in 2015

Readers,

During the month of December you were introduced to 4 women and men with 4 new books for moms and dads. I've been excited to share each one with you. I want to bring you the best of the best! And... during this time my wrist has been healing (YAY) from my November  car accident. Today I have a bonus writer for you. Meet Cindi McMenamin. She is helping us start off 2015 with five helpful  goals for marriage. 

I'll be back next week. 

With faith, hope and love,

Lori
PS If you are doing the free four week New Start '15 Bible Study, Check these links for this weeks blogs and readings:

• New Start 15 Bible Reading Plan 
•  New Start 15 Facebook 

5 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse in 2015 

By Cindi McMenamin

I've always been a goal-setter. 

Every January I would come up with new goals to save more money, be more productive on my job, read more books, lose more weight, and basically get in better shape mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually.

I was just missing one area. 

What was I doing to get in better shape, relationally, with my husband?

 Convicted at where my priorities were, I realized that I needed to intentionally invest in my marriage just as much as I was investing in other areas of my life. And that meant setting tangible goals yearly in that area, too. 

So ...I let my husband, Hugh, in on the goal-making process by asking him a few non-threatening questions. From those questions, we ended up setting our yearly goals together, which we've done now for the past ten years or so.  

I initiated our goal-setting process by asking my husband these three questions:

1. What do you wish we could do as a couple that we rarely or no longer take the time to do?

2. What have you always wanted to do together that we haven't yet done?

3. What, specifically, would you like to see us accomplish together in the next year?

My husband's answers to those questions opened up a whole new arena -- and adventure -- of yearly goal-setting together. And because I took the time -- and initiative -- to be deliberate and intentional in asking him what things he would like to see changed or improved upon in our marriage, I actually had a place to start (instead of just feeling like maybe he was unhappy or maybe there was more to our relationship that we were failing to discover).

We also ended up incorporating into our lives some things like a weekly day to play, projects we've long talked about and finally accomplished together, and trips we've planned and taken that we might not otherwise have even talked about.  

I encourage you to ask your spouse those questions above and then come up with some goals of your own for 2015. But if that's too big of a step for now, or if you're frustrated at being the one who has to initiate a closer connection, here's a place to start -- five simple goals for a closer connection in the next year: 

1. Start your day with a kiss. Simple, but effective.  Studies show couples who kiss each other daily (even a quick peck on the cheek) are happier, overall, than couples who don't.

2. Say encouraging words. It doesn't take a lot of effort, but it reaps marvelous results. Ephesians 4:29 says "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them (NLT)." Think in terms of "I'm only going to say it if my  spouse is encouraged by it." You'll notice, within days, how your relationship improves.

3. Plan a regular date night. If you have children and can rarely afford a babysitter, find another couple in the same situation and exchange babysitting once a month so each couple can have a monthly date night.  Dating was important before you were married and believe us, it's even more important after you're married.

4. Read through a relationship-building book together. I know, it might sound like "work" to you or your spouse, but it can be fun, and a great investment of your time together. Maybe it will consist of you reading to your spouse before bed. Or taking turns reading a chapter to each other once a week. I tried for years to get my husband to read through a relationship book with me and finally he insisted on writing a couples book with me that he -- and other men -- would enjoy reading (When Couples Walk Together)! Working through a devotional book together  will help you see deeper into your spouse's heart, as well as your own.

5. Pray together regularly. We've heard this advice as often as you have, but it took us years to get to that place. We will admit that, even as a couple in ministry (my husband is a pastor), it's difficult to find concentrated time to pray together. But when we started spending just a few minutes praying together before work in the morning, we found that a short prayer also included a hand held, two hearts shared, and a connection with God together that made all the difference in our day. If it's still a struggle in your marriage, pray about how the two of you can make time to pray together.

What will you do in 2015 to cultivate a closer connection with your spouse? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comment section below. 

Would you like to get a free copy of Cindi's book, When Couples Walk Together?  To enter the contest, leave a comment on this blog and Cindi will pick the winner by choosing the most creative or inspirational message. Have fun!

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of several books including When a Woman Inspires Her Husband,  When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter, and When Couples Walk Together, which she co-authored with her husband, Hugh. For more information and free resources to strengthen your soul or marriage, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com. 

6 Important Marriage Messages to Send Your Child

Parents are a child’s first love.

Daddy, a daughter’s perfect prince. Mommy, the woman every little boy wants to marry. Naturally that love changes. It morphs over time and typically transfers to another.

Parents set the stage for how their children view marriage and family life.

As our kids grow, we want them to develop healthy and lasting relationships. Most of us hope to be in-laws and grandparents someday. We pray for our kids’ future mates.

If I  were to be asked if I wanted to positively impact my child’s future relationships, my answer would be YES! I’m guessing yours would be too. That’s easy. But how am I really doing on a day-to-day basis?  What subtle messages am I delivering to my children about family life and marriage?

I’ll be the first to admit, my nonverbal or verbal communication can be negative, even nasty at times.

When my kids were younger, there were days I would compete with my husband for Who had the Worst Day. (Truth check: He really didn’t enter the contest, this was a solo game.)

 Why would I do this? Did I feel a bad day meant my mom job had value? Would a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day be the reason for extra me attention?  Did I want to make my husband feel guilty for working outside the home?

If I’m honest, some days, probably yes on all counts.

But…Do I want my kids to think being a mom and a wife is drudgery, hard work? (Okay there are those times, but mostly those two jobs are the BEST jobs in the world.)

As parents, if we want to make a lasting and positive impact on a child’s future relationships then we must be deliberate in romancing our spouse’s heart and a by-product will be a soften child’s heart; a heart that is open to offering and receiving love. A heart that is tender to God’s beckoning.

Here are a few subtle messages that pack a punch:

Be selfless. Focus on your husband or wife rather than yourself.

Be a servant. Do nice little things for your special person.

Be supportive. Encourage your mate.

Be sensitive. If it isn’t true or kind-don’t say it.

Be sincere. If you haven’t treated your loved one well, own it. Then change.

Be sold out for your spouse. Think of your partner as the All-Time best ever!

How a man treats his wife day after day, a son will copy. And… how a wife treats her husband, a daughter will emulate.

Our children are watching.

With faith, hope, and love, 

Lori Wildenberg 

Lori Wildenberg & Becky Danielson are licensed parent and family educators and co-founders of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting. Their book, Raising Little Kids with Big Love has just been released. If this post was a blessing to you, you can find more great faith-based and easily applicable tips and information in their books which can be found on Amazon or  B & N 

Grover Defines Marriage

When my son was in first grade, he came to me for some confirmation,"Mom, two girls can't get married, right?" The topic on the school bus was same sex marriage. That talk didn't occur recently. This took place seventeen or so years ago. Today that type of conversation has seeped into the fabric of our lives-everywhere we go.

Last week, I took two of my three girls out to lunch. The two family bookends, as my oldest likes to say. My oldest child, at 25 years of age, is in a same sex relationship. (In case you are wondering... Yes, we brought her up with traditional values.Yes, this is painful for me. And yes... I  love my child.) She wears a rainbow ring to signify her sexuality or in support of gay rights (I'm not exactly sure).  Maybe both. Anyway...

The waitress serving us tapped her ring and said that she and her wife were on the local news station the other night. At the time of writing this blog, the Colorado governor had just signed the same sex civil union bill.

Today I jumped on Facebook and came across this YouTube video. The video was posted four years ago but it is recirculating. Take a few minutes and watch this.

After watching this, do you think Sesame Street had an agenda or was conveying a subtle message? Do you think this is cute and harmless or dangerous and smells of indoctrination? What is your definition of marriage?

The world's voice is not only loud, it is constant. My young adult has embraced society's view. Even so, her dad and I continue to speak words of grace, truth, and love into her life. She is our kid and we love her unconditionally.

Parents buy the lie that if the children are brought up in a home with Christian values, it's guaranteed he or she will hold fast to those standards as adult. I wish that were the case.

But... parents are still responsible to provide a solid foundation. It is our job to honor the Lord in our parenting. Whether or not our children live out those values is... I hate to say it... up to that child.

So...Parents, be aware and advised, it is not too early to talk with your preschoolers about your family's definition of marriage. Because if you don't, Sesame Street will. They already have.

How have you seen the culture bump up against your values? How have you armed your children?

Now What?

So mom...your kids are back to school. That definitely changes the day. Have you figured out your new schedule yet? Before it gets too full with volunteering, let me toss out a few ideas for consideration.
Prior to signing your life away on the volunteer sheet-think about what you really enjoy. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I like working directly with the kids?
2.Do I prefer to support the school in a more clerical manner?
3. Do I like committee work or would I enjoy running a committee?
4. Is supervising or planning a field trip more up my alley?
5. Do I enjoy planning and running the classroom parties?
6. Would I rather make or purchase party treats or favors?
7. What type of volunteering fits into my daily life?

For moms of the younger kids...here is a recommendation. Don't do everything. Pick and choose. There are many opportunities at the elementary level to get involved.(Seasoned moms know this!)Then all moms...listen up!
Set aside time for your own personal development.
Join an exercise class, a bible study, or book club. Maybe even do a new activity with a friend. Begin nurturing those neglected female friendships. These endeavors are not selfish. They are actually good for a woman's mental and emotional well-being. Men typically appreciate it when their wives discuss things at length with girlfriends and then later receive the cliff notes. Women tend to explore the details surrounding things but men...not so much. I recall one time I was relaying a story to my husband, I stopped to take a breath-and he thought I was done. (I was just getting warmed up!) My girlfriends will participate in the dissection of an event. My husband  doesn't appreciate that form of  communication. He prefers  to move into problem solving mode immediately. I am a better wife when I have friends.
Female friendships among women are good for the soul and the marriage.

Be deliberate and not over zealous in your volunteering at school. Make some intentional choices to care for yourself and your marriage.

"A sweet friendship refreshes the soul."

Proverbs 27:9 The Message

Have you been in the  position of over-extending yourself? How did you learn to say no?