Kick Worry Out of Your Home

Friends,

We have an awesome guest blogger today. Cindi McMenamin has written  for Eternal Moments before as a guest a year ago and is a team member of 1st Corinthians 13 Parenting. Last year she gave us 5 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse and this year she is writing to us about a common malady from which parents (particularly moms) suffer. WORRY...The What ifs of life. 

So let's get our New Year off to a great start by kicking worry right out of our home!

~Lori 

Kick Worry Out of Your Home

By Cindi McMenamin

Is worry the unwelcome guest in your home?

Well what if this is the year you did away with the worry habit for good?

Worry can stress you out, damage your family relationships, and ultimately give you an ulcer.

And the dangerous thing about worry is that it creeps into our lives gradually and makes its home with us before we notice it’s there. It usually enters our front door in the form of two words: What if?

What if my children get hurt?

What if they don’t make friends?

What if they follow the wrong crowd?

What if they’re lying to me?

What if they never get married?

And even…. What if I’m not a good enough mom? 

I realized one day, after spending time in God’s Word, that at the root of all my “What if” questions is what I really believe about God’s character. 

When my mind plays through the various what ifs, the questions I’m really asking are: 

What if God isn’t able?
What if God isn’t good?
What if God can’t handle this?

And... that is not an attitude or mindset I want dwelling in my home. 

So it was time to kick it out the door.

There’s a reason God’s Word tells me, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT).

As I give God all of my what ifs and worries He can calm my heart and remind me that He is in absolute control. Then I can encourage my child, rather than stress her out with my worry and make her think she’s better off not letting me know what’s going on in her life.

That was one of the lessons I had to learn before I wrote my book, 10 Secrets to Becoming a Worry-Free Mom. Based on my own experience mothering – as well as  wisdom and advice from many other moms – I found that there are treasures (secrets, if you will) to discover as we surrender to God what is closest to our hearts – our children.  

One of those treasures is the incredible peace He offers as the Perfect Parent who allows us to partner with Him in raising, loving, and caring (not worrying) for our kids. Another treasure is that our relationship with God, our kids, and our husband gets better when we become encouragers, rather than worriers.

When you and I trust God with what is closest to our hearts, we are saying, “You, God, are capable. You are trustworthy. And all my worries and what ifs are in vain.”

We are also saying to our family members, “I trust God will work this out in your life and mine” and we are modeling trust and faith before them.

So how do you give God your concerns about your kids instead of worrying about them? It’s as easy as A-B-C:

A – Admit you do not have control over your child's life. As good of a monitor as you may be – about your child’s entertainment, friends, and whereabouts – your child will eventually be exposed to something or make a decision on his or her own that you have no control over. And as careful of a mom as you are, your child might still get hurt. Go ahead, give up that quest for control right now by saying aloud: "I am not in control of my child's life. God is."

B – Believe God wants only the best for you AND your child. Sometimes we fear that God will ask something of us or our children that we’re not willing to give. When you understand that God loves your child even more than you do, and He loves you more than you can imagine, there is peace in placing yourself and your child in God’s hands – no matter what.

C – Commit yourself to a deeper knowledge of God.  I believe our worry (and security) factor is directly related to how well we know God. When we truly know Him and understand all that He is capable of, we can’t help but trust Him. As you grow in a more intimate relationship with God, your worries will fall by the wayside. And you’ll have a new, healthier habit: Trust.   

When you kick worry out the door, Trust comes to live with you instead.

Would you like to win a free copy of Cindi’s book, 10 Secrets to Becoming a Worry-Free Mom? Leave a comment below about what YOU will do to rid your home of worry this year and share this blog post on your social media page and you’ll be entered in the drawing. The winner will be notified at the end of this week, Friday 13th, 2017. (U.S. residents only) 

You can find more of Cindi's wisdom over at 1st Corinthians 13 Parenting where, as a team member,  she is featured each month. 

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of more than a dozen books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 125,000 copies sold), When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter, and her newest, 10 Secrets to Becoming a Worry-Free Mom .  Cindi and her husband, Hugh, live in Southern California with their daughter, Dana. For more on her ministry, see her website: StrengthForTheSoul.com or find her on Facebook. 

5 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse in 2015

Readers,

During the month of December you were introduced to 4 women and men with 4 new books for moms and dads. I've been excited to share each one with you. I want to bring you the best of the best! And... during this time my wrist has been healing (YAY) from my November  car accident. Today I have a bonus writer for you. Meet Cindi McMenamin. She is helping us start off 2015 with five helpful  goals for marriage. 

I'll be back next week. 

With faith, hope and love,

Lori
PS If you are doing the free four week New Start '15 Bible Study, Check these links for this weeks blogs and readings:

• New Start 15 Bible Reading Plan 
•  New Start 15 Facebook 

5 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse in 2015 

By Cindi McMenamin

I've always been a goal-setter. 

Every January I would come up with new goals to save more money, be more productive on my job, read more books, lose more weight, and basically get in better shape mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually.

I was just missing one area. 

What was I doing to get in better shape, relationally, with my husband?

 Convicted at where my priorities were, I realized that I needed to intentionally invest in my marriage just as much as I was investing in other areas of my life. And that meant setting tangible goals yearly in that area, too. 

So ...I let my husband, Hugh, in on the goal-making process by asking him a few non-threatening questions. From those questions, we ended up setting our yearly goals together, which we've done now for the past ten years or so.  

I initiated our goal-setting process by asking my husband these three questions:

1. What do you wish we could do as a couple that we rarely or no longer take the time to do?

2. What have you always wanted to do together that we haven't yet done?

3. What, specifically, would you like to see us accomplish together in the next year?

My husband's answers to those questions opened up a whole new arena -- and adventure -- of yearly goal-setting together. And because I took the time -- and initiative -- to be deliberate and intentional in asking him what things he would like to see changed or improved upon in our marriage, I actually had a place to start (instead of just feeling like maybe he was unhappy or maybe there was more to our relationship that we were failing to discover).

We also ended up incorporating into our lives some things like a weekly day to play, projects we've long talked about and finally accomplished together, and trips we've planned and taken that we might not otherwise have even talked about.  

I encourage you to ask your spouse those questions above and then come up with some goals of your own for 2015. But if that's too big of a step for now, or if you're frustrated at being the one who has to initiate a closer connection, here's a place to start -- five simple goals for a closer connection in the next year: 

1. Start your day with a kiss. Simple, but effective.  Studies show couples who kiss each other daily (even a quick peck on the cheek) are happier, overall, than couples who don't.

2. Say encouraging words. It doesn't take a lot of effort, but it reaps marvelous results. Ephesians 4:29 says "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them (NLT)." Think in terms of "I'm only going to say it if my  spouse is encouraged by it." You'll notice, within days, how your relationship improves.

3. Plan a regular date night. If you have children and can rarely afford a babysitter, find another couple in the same situation and exchange babysitting once a month so each couple can have a monthly date night.  Dating was important before you were married and believe us, it's even more important after you're married.

4. Read through a relationship-building book together. I know, it might sound like "work" to you or your spouse, but it can be fun, and a great investment of your time together. Maybe it will consist of you reading to your spouse before bed. Or taking turns reading a chapter to each other once a week. I tried for years to get my husband to read through a relationship book with me and finally he insisted on writing a couples book with me that he -- and other men -- would enjoy reading (When Couples Walk Together)! Working through a devotional book together  will help you see deeper into your spouse's heart, as well as your own.

5. Pray together regularly. We've heard this advice as often as you have, but it took us years to get to that place. We will admit that, even as a couple in ministry (my husband is a pastor), it's difficult to find concentrated time to pray together. But when we started spending just a few minutes praying together before work in the morning, we found that a short prayer also included a hand held, two hearts shared, and a connection with God together that made all the difference in our day. If it's still a struggle in your marriage, pray about how the two of you can make time to pray together.

What will you do in 2015 to cultivate a closer connection with your spouse? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comment section below. 

Would you like to get a free copy of Cindi's book, When Couples Walk Together?  To enter the contest, leave a comment on this blog and Cindi will pick the winner by choosing the most creative or inspirational message. Have fun!

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of several books including When a Woman Inspires Her Husband,  When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter, and When Couples Walk Together, which she co-authored with her husband, Hugh. For more information and free resources to strengthen your soul or marriage, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.