Motherhood...the slow band-aid removal technique

The roller-coaster in my stomach woke me up this morning.

My heart is not confined to my chest. 

I don't have the flu.

I'm not having a heart attack.

My twenty-four year old daughter is moving.

Moving out of the country.

Motherhood is the slow Band-Aid removal technique. It's very nature is a series of slow and painful separations.

Birth-- it's the start of it all.  

Weening.

Preschool. 

School. 

Activities and friendships.

Camp.

College. 

A move out of state.

And now this...Taiwan.

I'm not good at sharing. I'm not a hover mother--I'm a hoarder-mutter. 

When Samantha was six, she and I had a weekend alone in our home. (Unheard of when you have a husband, four children, and two dogs.) As she was getting ready for bed she announced, "I'm sleeping with you tonight, Mom. I don't want you to be lonely." 

When she went to camp, she called, "Mom can you pick me up? I'm homesick."

Then...

When she was twenty-two she moved to California."Mom, I'm moving to LA. If you want to drive with me-- I'm leaving next week."

Rip off the bandage. Rip out my heart.

Kids don't get it. We become parents to have kids not to let them go....

But that is the irony isn't it? 

My child, isn't mine. 

She isn't even hers.

She's His.

So I will pray in her independence from me, from her dad, from our family, she depends on her Heavenly Father. 

And every time my stomach does a loop-dee-loop or every time my chest tries to pull my heart back in, I will pray God draws her close and she knows He is near... 

Even when I am not. 

Samantha, I will miss you more than you could ever imagine. (That is until  one day... you are called Mom.) I love you more than you can fathom. (That is until one day...you are called Mom.) No matter the distance between us, I will always be Mom. Always loving you, cheering you on, and praying for you. Whether I'm sitting next to you, in the stands, or across the ocean, I am your biggest fan. You call me, Mom.


And wrap your head around this, God loves you even more...........

He doesn't sit on the side-lines. He will walk right alongside you every step of the way. Never no never letting you move beyond His loving grasp because...

He holds on with supernatural super glue.

With faith, hope, and love,

Mom

We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19

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Growing Up Moving Out

Six times. We have moved our four kids six times since May. One out of an apartment, one into an apartment, two home from college, one to California, one back to college.

Flexibility is the name of the game, especially when it comes to parenting the late teen, young adult years. 

Each time one of my kids moves, it is not only a change for my kid but for me too. I have never been good with change...not good since life never remains stagnant. 

Moving out, moving in, moving away, moving back. YIKES!

One of my girl's, who just graduated from college, decided it was time to move to California. She was born in San Diego, loves the warmth, hates the Colorado cold, loves the beach, and isn't much of a mountain fan. So on a wing and prayer, she and I drove cross-country (OKAY....not that far, but across five state lines.) with her most important possessions in the hopes of securing a job in the Golden State.

She is so brave. She isn't afraid of a challenge or change. I never would have done that at age twenty-one. In fact, I wouldn't do it now!

The adjustment came with the stress and pressure that looking for a job brings. I wanted to make it easy for her, kiss the owie of the temporary unemployment away. I don't like to watch her hurt or struggle.

Even though discouragement was part of the package, she persevered. Her tenacity muscles were built while my muscles were stretched. She secured her job and now can pay her bills. (Yippee!)

Reflecting on this, I guess this is why God allows us (me) to struggle too. There are such great benefits to the delayed gratification. When things don't go the way I want or as fast as I'd hoped, I find myself turning to him. I learn patience, persistence, and perseverance in the process. Humility is grown when waiting is a part of the picture.

So all-in-all change is an emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually maturing process for my kids. And while I am only the observer, it is for me, too. 

My protection and success come from God alone. 

Psalm 62: 7

How is God growing you?