Messy Journey

Dear friends,
I am super excited to share this with you. TODAY is BOOK LAUNCH DAY for  Messy Journey, How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home  (New Hope Publishers)! 

This book is my heart and soul. 

At times it was agonizing to write because it is about struggle. A relationship struggle. A faith and fear wresting match. Messy Journey is personal,  And to be honest, I'm a fairly private person yet the content of this book demanded openness and transparency.  God moved me  forward with the knowledge that this material could help and encourage another family. The stories in Messy Journey are not just mine but many others who bravely shared their lives.Some parents, some prodigals, some former prodigals. My daughter, Courtney, courageously tells her journey as well. Each of these individuals are my heroes. Motivated by the power of love they share their most private thoughts and feelings in order to touch the lives of those reading this book.  If you have a prodigal you are not alone. 

Here's a little blurb about the book: 

Messy Journey:
How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home

Messy Journey is for parents walking the difficult road with a wayward child. With rare and raw honesty, author and licensed parent and family educator, Lori Wildenberg, her daughter (Courtney), other parents and prodigals vulnerably share their stories. No matter why you have a prodigal or if you love someone who does this book will bring comfort, help, and encouragement.  Practical grace- and truth-filled ways of navigating your relationship with a detoured child who is rejecting faith, dabbling in sin, or wholeheartedly embracing sinful behavior are given. There is hope. After all, their struggle isn't really with you, it's with God.

Messy Journey offers the tools of grace and truth to construct a bridge that offers the  prodigal a way back to the family and to God. Nothing holds a parent's heart hostage like a prodigal. This book provides much needed hope, support, and encouragement to the mom or dad who feels alone on what can be a very solitary journey.  

Final Thought: 


If you have a prodigal or know someone who does, this book will be a blessing. Please connect with me if you would like me (or Courtney and me) to speak to your church group about either  general prodigal struggles (Messy Journey) or if you'd prefer a more specific talk regarding homosexuality, faith, and the family (When Belief and Behavior Collide: How to love your LGBT family member or friend with grace and truth ). 

With faith, hope, and love, 

~Lori

Lori Wildenberg is a  licensed parent and family

Click here to get to Amazon

educator, co-founder of  1Corinthians13Parenting.com,

 Lori's newest book, Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home (New Hope Publishers) can be ordered on Amazon or found at your favorite bookstore. If you are a parent of a child who has strayed or know a family in this situation, this book will provide comfort, help, and hope.
Click here to   Contact Lori to speak at your next event. She is also available for parent consulting and parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at  MOMS Together community on Facebook. 

Head over to Amazon to get your copy of Raising Little Kids with Big Love  

or Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love. 

15 Characteristics of a Person of Grace

Meet my friend, Kathy Howard. She will be guest blogging today. I love her 15 qualities of a person of grace. It challenges me and reminds me how to be grace-ful and grace-filled. Kathy has just released a new 9 week Bible Study (her 7th book!) titled Lavish Grace published by New Hope Publishers. Kathy has agreed to do a give-away.  To be eligible to receive a free copy of Lavish Grace, please leave a comment on the blog. One name will be selected on Friday.

With faith, hope, and love,

Lori

15 Characteristics of a Person of Grace

Would you describe yourself as a channel or a pool of grace? A “channel” shares the grace with others that God has lavished on them. A “pool” hoards all God’s grace for herself, failing to pass along His undeserved loving kindness.

Anytime we find ourselves more “pool” than “channel,” it’s time to reflect again on God’s undeserved grace in our own lives. In his book Putting a Face on Grace, Dr. Richard Blackaby writes that when we truly grasp its depth we would not dare withhold it from others.

“We are not called to just bathe in grace; we are called to shower it upon others. Grace has not been fully experienced until it is fully expressed to others. The deeper our understanding of grace, the more we see the necessity of making it the fabric of our Christian life.”

Everything we have, everything we are, and everything we will be depends solely on God’s lavish grace working in our lives. When that truth sinks into our hearts and minds, we will live our life as a grateful response to the grace God so generously pours out on us.

Yet sometimes I forget. Often, I am that stagnant pool, hoarding God’s grace like a selfish child. But God calls me to be channel of His grace, not a pool. As someone who receives His constant supply of glorious grace, I should willingly share it with everyone around me.
What about you? Are you a channel or a pool? Use the following characteristics to evaluate whether your words and actions reflect God’s grace to others:

1. Doesn’t insist on being right, but seeks to make things right
2. Willing to be inconvenienced
3. Seeks the welfare of the other person
4. Speaks words that build up, not tear down
5. Doesn’t demand to be heard, but strives to listen
6. Focuses on others needs instead of our own
7. Acts with humility, not pride
8. Doesn’t keep score
9. Looks for ways to help and encourage others
10. Freely forgives
11. Seeks to understand
12. Doesn’t expect a return
13. Focuses on the important over the urgent
14. Doesn’t pick and choose whom to show grace
15. Doesn’t overlook sin, but encourages holiness

Seem overwhelming? Remember, God has given us everything we need to live a life that pleases Him (2 Peter 1:3). In those moments when it’s hard to show grace to someone else, ask God to help. And remember we did not deserve His grace either.

When do you find it most hard to show grace? What are some things that help you show grace to others?

About Kathy Howard: 

Kathy has been teaching the Bible since she fell in love with God’s Word almost 30 years ago. She speaks regularly at women’s retreats and events across the United States and internationally. The author of seven  books, including four Bible studies, Kathy writes to have something to do while she eats chocolate and drinks coffee. She has a Masters in Christian Education and a certificate in women’s ministry from the Canadian Southern Baptist Seminary.

In recent years, God has been teaching Kathy more about His abundant grace. Through her own relationships and life experiences, she is learning to extend the grace God has so lavishly poured out on her own life.

On a personal level, Kathy calls herself a “confused southerner.” Raised in Louisiana, she has moved with her engineer husband around the U.S. and Canada. She says “pop” instead of “Coke” and “you guys” as often as “ya’ll.” But she’s still a southern girl at heart!

Kathy and her husband now live in the Houston area and have three children, two sons-in-law, one daughter-in-law and four  precious grandsons. When the family gets together there are also five dogs in the mix.

About Lavish Grace:

This post is adapted from Kathy Howard’s new Bible study Lavish Grace: Poured Out, Poured Through, and Overflowing. Lavish Grace is a 9-week journey with the apostle Paul that helps readers discover God’s abundant grace for their daily lives and relationships. You can find out more about Kathy, her speaking and writing, and find free resources at www.KathyHoward.org.

Find Lavish Grace over a Amazon. 

Not a Snot

"Our Father 

Who art in heaven,

 Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 

Give us this day our daily bread

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. 

Lead a snot into temptation..."

What? Yep... as a child, that's how Lynn, a friend of mine, prayed the Lord's prayer. In a way it makes a little sense, right?  Go ahead God! Let those snots have it! 

Our sense of fairness and justice is satisfied when the bad guys get caught and are punished. 

Our kids don't have much problem figuring out the fairness factor. That tends to make sense. But the ideas of grace and mercy are much more difficult to comprehend and extend. 

Grace and mercy. Unmerited favor, freely given combined with compassion and kindness. For example, if you (by you I really mean me) deserve a speeding ticket but get a warning instead...that is mercy. (I just got some of that mercy recently.) Or if one of my kids takes care of my typical morning routine of feeding the dog and unloading the dishwasher, I just got graced!

So..how do we help our children learn and embrace the concepts of grace and mercy? What does it look like in a family? 

Talk about it and show it.

 Grace is proactive. Showing favor-even when it isn't earned. Loving your child when he's a little snotty. Mercy responds to an offense a child committed with training rather than punishment. Rather than grounding him for life, have him restate his concern with respect. 

Of course it's important to balance grace and mercy with fairness and justice. Without justice, we can end up with cheap grace. 

Avoid tipping the scales to one side or the other. 

And..as a family pray for that "snot"and show him a little amazing grace!

"But deliver us from evil.

for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever." 

Amen

  NOTE: I took this photo in Jerusalem at the Church of the Nations on the Mount of Olives. The church has the Lord's Prayer written in 170 languages! Here it is written in Ethiopian. 

Love is

Theme: Love!
 In celebration of Valentine's Day I'm posting a love poem.

Love

Love is:
Teaching your child to pray.Cleaning up throw up in the middle of the night and not complaining.
Smiling when your child throws his dirty, sandy arms around you, making your new outfit a little dirty.
Saying thank you when your child buses his dishes from the table,
      dripping food all the way to the counter.
Holding your child's hand when he gets a shot.
Helping your child clean up after a spill.
Not rolling our eyes when your child spills for the sixth time that day.
Reading the Bible with your children.
 Sticking to your family rules when you are somewhere other than home.
Knowing what your children are reading and watching.
Forgiving your child when he has made a mistake and not bringing it up again.
Taking time to date your spouse.
 Spending time alone with each child.
Listening to your child without judging.
Maintaining a sense of humor.
Responding and reacting to your children  in a way you would like to be treated.
Biting your tongue until you can speak with wisdom and grace.
Delighting in God's creation.
Sharing yourself.
Not listening to music in the car and having a conversation instead.
Helping your child through the struggles of life, not around the struggles.
Building others up.
Taking your child to church.
Praying for your spouse and your children.
Admitting when you are wrong and saying you're sorry.
Putting the needs of your spouse and family above your own.
Patient, Kind, Gentle
Not envious, Not boastful, Not proud, Not rude
Always protecting, Always trusting, Always hopeful,
always persevering
Never failing
ETERNAL
By Lori Wildenberg 2002
Seen in EMPOWERED PARENTS: Putting Faith First Wildenberg & Danielson
Pages 82-83